Is this my life?

I often find myself these days sitting and asking "is this really my life?" 15 months ago my life was all about ministry. There was my ministry/job at Focus on the Family Canada, where I made an impact every day in the lives of countless people who contacted us for help. Then there was the ministry my husband has been called to as pastor of a church in Vancouver. And then there is my "family ministry", which at the time consisted of simply caring for and loving my hubby of 10 years.

Then all that changed when we found out we were having a baby, and now, as she gets ready to turn 6 months old, I find myself sitting here wondering what happened to my life! I went from leading a team of exceptional people in a job that I loved and felt called to, to spending my days in the following routine: get up, feed the baby, play with the baby, put the baby down for a nap, do household chores while said baby sleeps, get the baby up, feed the baby, play with the baby... you get the idea. I often feel like I'm stuck in a monotonous routine that produces nothing of any value, and I daily ask my husband to remind me why I thought I wanted this.

But wait. What about that "family ministry" that was a small but significant part of what I now call my "former life?" Each day when I open my Bible and spend time with the Lord, I am reminded not of what I have given up, but of the new ministry I have been called to. While the rewards of this ministry may not be as obvious as those I saw in my previous roles, the rewards are there if I chose to see them. They are there in each smile my daughter gives me when she sees me coming. They are there in the sound of her laughter as she plays with her daddy. And they are there in the sweet embrace she gives me as we cuddle at bed time. These are priceless rewards from a little one who's world literally revolves around me. And each morning as I spend time with the Lord, He reminds me of the huge role I play in ensuring that this little one knows Him and loves Him.

So yes, the diapers, the spit up, the endless loads of laundry... this is my life. A life of ministry to a little person who, Lord willing, will grow up to be an amazing woman with a ministry of her own.

Picture This

Ok, so apparently I've been tagged by a friend for a little blog game of "Picture This." According to Sharon, you are supposed to take a picture of yourself the minute you read this, and then post it on your own blog. I read hers just now... so here's what I look like right now...


Scary I know. Not as bad a I thought it would be considering how I'm feeling -- tired from a long day with a baby that just would not nap, and heading into a weekend when I'm alone with said baby for 48 hours while my husband "fasts" on the 30 Hour Famine with our church youth group. Anyhoo... this is me, in my pjs, hair up and out of my face after a long day, pretty much ready for bed at 8:30 pm, only still needing to wash bottles, clean up toys, and of course... watch CSI! ;-)

I tag Drew, Meghan, Julie, Heather and Xavier. Have fun!

Lent

Have you ever practiced the old tradition of Lent? Do you plan to do this year? If so, what are you giving up? And, more importantly, what are you vowing to focus on -- to be more disciplined in -- until Easter this year?

I read an interesting piece on Lent recently that helped me prepare for it this year. Ironically, Lent begins this year on my birthday (Feb 25th). My birthday is always an excuse to sleep in, eat what I know I shouldn't, etc., so I considered then putting on my practice of lent to the following day. But then I considered how appropriate it would be to start on the 25th. I celebrate 36 years of life tomorrow, and have been thinking a lot about my life and where I'm headed as I inch closer to 40. What better way to set new goals and focus on having more discipline in areas I am weak, than to start my 37th year of life vowing to give up something and put more focus on something else. What better way to refocus my life, as I seek the Lord's direction, than to get back to basics and focus on the intimacy of my relationship with Christ through the practice of self denial and discipline.

So what am I giving up? I'm giving up television (at least through the day time). I've found, now that I'm a stay at home mommy, that I spend much of my day with the television on. It runs in the background all day, "entertains me" when I don't feel like doing what I know I should be, and interrupts the quality time I should be spending with my infant daughter. I'm going to discipline myself keep the TV off until the evening (and even then only for programs my husband and I enjoy), so that I can do all the other things I always tell myself I should be doing.

I'm also giving up simple carbs, sweets and snacking. While I've always avoided calling my cravings gluttony, that's what it is. The eating of excess or the indulgence in overeating. Gluttony is basically eating anything your body doesn't need to survive. And, since my husband and I have been talking about eating better and doing what we can to improve our overall health, this seems like a logical thing to give up and a perfect way to focus on self discipline. Jesus gave up His life for me, the very least I can do for him is give up pasta, cookies, etc.

Instead, I intend to put my focus first and foremost on the discipline of simply not wasting every minute before me. Not sleeping in, but rather getting up early to spend the quiet moments of the day in prayer and in communion with God. Not lounging lazily on the couch, but instead grabbing the baby and going for a good walk or playing with her on the floor. Not indulging in useless carbs, but enjoying the simplicty of a fine vegetable and a perfectly grilled piece of salmon (or whatever) while lingering at the dinner table to enjoy the conversation... not the dessert. ;-) And not thinking about all the things I told myself I would do while on maternity leave, but instead actually doing them -- scrapbooking, writing more, soaking up every minute with my infant daughter, being the best wife possible to my overworked and underpaid husband, and ultimately, growing closer to the One who saved me and gives me life.

I am

I saw a commercial the other day that intrigued me. It's for a new TV network for "boomer" women called Viva. After listening to the women on the commercial describe themselves in this creative way, it got me thinking about how I would describe myself in the same fashion. I tried to find the commercial online so you could see it, but couldn't find it. However, I did come up with my own list... so here it goes.

I am a ...
God following
bible reading
life embracing
true love finding
meal cooking
home making
silly song singing
blog writing
family cherishing
belly laughing
friendship seeking
joyfully mothering
holiday celebrating
photograph taking
coffee loving
music listening
movie watching
television viewing
travel desiring
worship leading
imagination creating
honest speaking
decor designing
husband adoring
gift givint
hug relishing
game playing
chocolate eating
slightly greying
and hopefully gracefully aging
Christian (not VIVA) woman.

Describe yourself!

Give me a "T"!

So I was reading Sharon's blog, and she did this... it sounded like fun and a bit of a challenge, so I left a comment on her blog. She then sent me a letter... the letter "T".

If you want to participate, leave a comment on this post and I will assign you a letter. You then write about 10 things you love that begin with the assigned letter and post them on your blog. When people comment on your posted list, you give them a letter and the chain continues on and on...

Then Things I Love...

1. Tacos. No list for me would be complete without expressing my love for tacos, or bascially anything Mexican! ;-) I could live on tacos, or pretty much anything with a tortilla!

2. Toes. More specifically, baby toes. I've always loved baby toes, and now that I have my own little one, I can't get enough of her little toes! They are so cute!!!

3. Tornadoes. I'm fascinated by tornadoes, and would love to be a storm chaser. "Twister" is one of my favorite movies.

4. Trees. I love trees... big, full, looming trees. That's one of the things I love about where we live... the big huge trees. In fact, my husband proposed to me under "our tree" at Stanley Park, and then had a water color painting done of the tree for a wedding gift.

5. Television. Ok, I admit it. I am a TV junkie. I enjoy a good crime scene drama (CSI, Law & Order, the Mentalist, etc.), enjoy curling up with my hubby on Saturday mornings to watch cartoons or the latest cheesy TV movie, etc.

6. Travelling. Being an MK, I can never stay very long anywhere. If I can't physically move somewhere, then I have to travel. I love road trips especially.

7. Typing. I love to write, but hate writing anything by hand. I think so much better when I'm typing. Even letters to my family... it has to be typed or I go blank. It's a good thing that's what I do for a living eh? ;-)

8. Tandoori Chicken! I love anything India (2nd only to Mexican), but Tandoor Chicken is my favorite. Wrap it up in some naan bread and add that cool, green dipping sauce (can't remember what that's called) and I'm yours.

9. Tea, specifically iced tea. That's all I order when we are out for dinner, and I ensure I have a pitcher of it in the fridge at home all the time.

10. Tulips. Since I grew up in Ecuador, where the tulip was rarely seen, I love getting tulips from my husband. They are so colourful and just scream "Spring!"

A new appreciation...

I now have a new appreciation for the role of a single parent. My soon-to-be 3 month old daughter is sick, very sick, with her first cold, and never before have I been so grateful to have a partner in this journey. It's made me wonder how single parents survive when they have no one to lean on and give them some relief! Dr. James Dobson refers to single parenting as the "toughest job in the universe," and I have to agree. I don't know how I would manage if I didn't have my husband to help me out, give me a break, and worry alongside me.

So here's to all you single parents out there... may you be blessed beyond measure for the difficult role you have in caring for your children on your own. And to those who know a single parent... may you be challenged, as I have been, to offer help, support, and love!

Friday Love List

It's Friday, and that likely means my friend Sharon will be blogging her traditional "Friday Love List"! I look forward to reading it, and sometimes create my own. Since she hasn't yet posted hers... I figured I'd do one first!

1. A good cup of coffee.
2. Cuddles with my 12 week old.
3. Watching my husband play with our daughter.
4. Emails and phone calls from home.
5. Reconnecting with old friends.
6. Mondays - our day off together as a family.
7. Baking and creating things in the kitchen.
8. Making our house a home.
9. Blogging, writing and putting my creative juices to work.
10. Playing Wordscraper with the Rachels (two of them) on Facebook!
11. Good movies.
12. The perfect picture (photo).
13. Warm socks, comfy PJs and no place to go for the night.
14. Inspiration.
15. Celebrating silly holidays (did you know today is National Nothing Day?)

What do you love?